Stemmen op 17 maart 2021 – gedaan!

Vandaag heb ik voor de eerste keer in mijn leven gestemd. Niet in Libanon, waar ik vandaan kom, maar in Nederland. Vier jaar geleden, toen ik net naar Amsterdam was verhuisd, kon ik niet stemmen. Ik twijfelde tussen GroenLinks en D66. Dit jaar heb ik naar bijna alle debatten tussen de verschillende partijen en hun programma’s gekeken. Ik twijfelde nog: ga ik voor PvdA, die hun stemmers in de vorige jaren teleurgesteld hebben? Of voor GroenLinks? Die zijn te “politiek correct” en dat lijkt me soms onrealistisch. Of D66, die om eerlijk te zijn oorspronkelijk mijn voorkeurspartij waren? 

Nee, niet met Sigrid Kaag als lijsttrekker. Toen ze in Libanon werkte als UN Special Coordinator for Lebanon, heeft haar bureau een e-mail gestuurd naar alle VN werknemers (inclusief mijzelf) om ons te verbieden om een deel te nemen aan de betogingen tegen de corruptie van de Libanese regering in 2015, en hun slechte aanpak van de afvalcrisis. Dit vond ik ondemocratisch en een beetje hypocritisch van haar. Als Libanees had ik het recht om te demonstreren. Dit zou niet in Nederland gebeuren bijvoorbeeld. Ik had ook hetzelfde gevoel toen ik naar één van Kaags interviews luisterde: ze zei dat het ze geen nee kon zeggen tegen een ‘eerste’ baan bij Shell, ondanks dat dit bedrijf activiteiten had in Zuid-Afrika tijdens de apartheid. Dus voor mij was ze niet iemand die echt staat voor principes. Het ging over de omstandigheden; dit is de houding van diplomaten. Een partij leider is geen diplomaat maar een politicus.

Voor wie heb ik dan gestemd? Volt. Een nieuwe partij die net is begonnen in de politieke sfeer en die Europa steunt. Daarin geloof ik, vooral om dat ik uit een erg verdeeld deel van de wereld kom. Een sterke EU is belangrijk voor de groei van Nederland. Ik wil ook een kans geven aan een groep mensen met nieuwe ideeën, net als ik een kans kreeg toen ik naar Nederland kwam. 

…and the Dutch created The Netherlands

The Delta Works on a rainy day (most days are rainy)

You may have heard the saying “God created the earth, but the Dutch created The Netherlands”.  That seemed a teeny weeny little bit arrogant to me at first. The same as saying ‘Lebanon is the Paris (or Switzerland) of the Middle East’. But sure enough, I’m starting to understand the reason behind it.

On one of my trips last year, I visited Friesland, in the North of the country. I’ll never forget standing on a dike, and looking north to the sea, then south – and down! – to the towns built on the other side. All with their chimneys at sea level, separated by a piece of earth with a road on top. It felt as if my eyes were tricking me. I remember telling my husband: ‘I can never live here’. But many Dutch below are happy to, safe and dry. And apparently confident that their government can be trusted to regularly maintain the dams and dikes – not pocket tax money intended to do so – and ensure these folks stay dry while happily riding their silly bicycles a few metres away from the sea lurking above their heads. A Dutch friend once told me that she would never object to paying water tax. She knows that the Ministry of Infrastructure and the Environment uses her money to manage water levels and protect the country and its citizens.

Look carefully at the water levels on both sides of the road.

Yep, it’s scary.
Cycling like there’s not a care in the world

Water is everywhere. Even more impressive than the dikes in Friesland are the man-made water works in Zeeland in the South. It was this part of The Netherlands that suffered the ultimate nightmare of the Dutch, the 1953 disaster that made the country confront the sea head on. On 31 January of that year, heavy storms, strong winds and very high tides made the sea rush over and through the old dikes protecting cities and towns in the South-West of the country. The North Sea water stormed in and wiped out houses, farms and streets. Almost two thousand people died, a hundred thousand were evacuated. The enormous destruction and death made the Dutch decide to put everything they had into preventing such a tragedy from ever happening again, to work together to keep the sea out for good.

It was a rainy day (like almost every other day in this miserable excuse for a summer) when we bent our upper bodies forward and braved the strong head winds on our way to the Oosterscheldekering, one of the largest dam-like inventions in the country. From a distance, all I could see was an endless bridge. When I climbed the stairs and was standing on it, in the middle of a sea arm, I thought: I’ve never been surrounded by so much water. With a simple push-button, barriers can be dropped to the bottom of the sea when it rises dangerously high. Hundreds of thousands of people’s lives depend on this thing keeping out the North Sea when it’s told to do so. It was absolutely frightening, and so impressive. How the hell did the Dutch build this?

It took nearly fifty years and almost ten billion guilders (equivalent to five billion euros back then). The result is the Delta Works. If you look at the pictures linked to this post, you’ll see what I mean. This huge project consists of over 10,000 miles of dikes and a total of 13 dams and barriers, their sole role being to protect people and their lands. It is at the same time environmentally friendly, allowing fresh and salt water to mix and fish to migrate, with several movable barriers that close off the sea during extreme storms. The Dutch now control the sea, not the other way around.

More land is reclaimed all the time, and entire towns are still built on what used to be water. With The Netherlands being one of the most densely populated countries in the world, the Dutch solution to creating more space is to steal more land from the sea. Every now and then they concede a bit of land to water, if they must (like in the Room for the River project). The Dutch have also figured out how to build a functioning transportation network on, around, over, under and through water, with amazing bridges and endless tunnels. They have transformed their threatening surroundings into beautiful canals, lakes, rivers and windmills. Constant anticipation and flood control by water engineering experts continue to be a priority as sea level rises and fifty-five per cent of the country remains either below sea level or heavily flood-prone. The Dutch water management system works perfectly.

Contrary to many people who feel zen when near the sea, I wanted to move back onto actual solid land very quickly. That’s when we went back to our hotel for a break in the charming medieval town of Middelburg, the capital of Zeeland. We chose to stay at one of the oldest hotels there, and were upgraded to a Baroque suite at Aan de Dam hotel (thanks guys!). It has an antique ambience, with classic furniture and hundreds of LP records of Elvis Presley, Bob Dylan, Nina Simone and Jimi Hendrix among others. This was enough to put us back on track for a romantic night.

Middelburg
Mysterious girl in the Baroque Suite

What’s on your autumn reading list?

Endless sunshine and warm summer weather don’t last forever here. Autumn has started and with temperatures below 13 degrees Celsius, grey skies, wind and rain, you’d better get creative and think about how you’re going to spend the coming months. You’ve done most of the museums and galleries. You have your Cineville cultural slash artsy cinema subscription. You went to the new cafés and bars and spent all your money. Netflix is getting a boring. 

What’s left to do? If, like me, you’ve started reading several books at the same time without finishing any, then this is the time to do it. Curl up on your nice comfy sofa, sit down in front of your window with a cup of tea or a glass of wine, and start reading. Some books are old, others more recent. 

Here goes:

The Nix, by Nathan Hill

A New York Times bestseller. A writer/teacher is confronted his mother after she abandoned her family when he was a boy. Now she is in trouble, needs his help, and the unexplained past comes tumbling back in unexpected ways.

The bazar of bad dreams, by Stephen King

A great collection of creepy stories that I stupidly started reading right before going to bed. King freaks me out every time he brings up evil children – which he loves doing.

The casual vacancy, by J.K. Rowling

A councillor cherished by the people of a small town suddenly dies. A conflict ensues before the election for his successor takes places and those running soon find themselves and those around them locked in conflict. A wonderfully intricate book about ordinary people and dark secrets, where every reader will find a character that makes them feel embarrassed when they realise: I do that, too.

Sodome et Gomorrhe, by Marcel Proust

My attempt to read this book has been a long journey. There are many characters involved in a fancy dinner party where it is revealed that the baron has many affairs, including with young men. Public façades among the bourgeoisie are compared with how the characters act in private. 

Dertiendagh, by Maria Postema and Maarten Bruns

A book written by a cool friend which I think will be great for my Dutch. It is the story of two kids exploring an ancient bunker. But mysteries start unfolding along the way.

Le second sex Tom I et II, by Simone De Beauvoir 

I bought these two books when the #metoo campaign started. I wanted to know more about feminism and how women were treated throughout history. Many examples and comparisons show that although women have come a long way, society still considers them as “the other”. I chose to read this book in French because I heard in different places that the English translation is not faithful to the original book.

Crime et châtiment, by Fiodor Dostoïevski

A story on the mental anguish and moral dilemmas of an impoverished ex-student in Saint Petersburg who formulates and executes a plan to kill an unscrupulous pawnbroker for her cash.

Nutshell, by Ian McEwan

This book is quite funny. It is about a fetus in the womb of his mother discovering that the latter is plotting a murder with her boyfriend. 

 صوت العالم لمخائيل نعيمة 

I bought this book in Pages bookstore Café, which is run by a group of Syrian refugees in Amsterdam. Mikhail Naimy talks about human suffering among civilians after the second world war. The author was a soldier in the American army.

Beirut 39: New writing from the Arab World, by Samuel Shimon

I found this book also in a small bookstore in Amsterdam. It includes 39 pieces by Arab writers under 40 which take you through individual lives that are specific to their locations.

Warriors of God, by Nicholas Blanford

I started reading this book a long time ago but have not finished it yet. It is fascinating to be able to know more about the most powerful militant group and political party Hezbollah, particularly for me as a Lebanese.

Ik was een van hen, by Maarten Zeegers

The writer goes “undercover” as a muslim in one of the neighborhoods of The Hague. He portrays inhabitants with empathy and gives insight in their day to day life and views on islam and on Dutch society. 

I speak for Lebanon, by Kamal Jumblatt

I borrowed this book and never returned it. It is a summary of Jumblatt’s political testament and memoirs which was completed shortly before he was assassinated.

Any other suggestions? Put them in the comments!

Petiscos and Ginja*

Good wine, good food and good company are some of life’s most civilised pleasures, someone said. Add to that warm weather and Fado music and you’ll find yourself in Lisbon, one of the most underrated cities in Europe. If you appreciate the simple joie de vivre like me, you must visit this beautiful Portuguese city.

Time moves slowly and days feel longer, in a good way. People enjoy the warm, crisp evenings until well into the night, at least they did during my September visit, but still manage to go to work in the morning. During my short holiday, I made sure not to get up so early. My day started around ten with a short hop to the nearby bakery for coffee and delicious pastries, particularly pastéis de nata, my favourite. Then I was back to my small cozy apartment on the foot of one of Lisbon’s many hills to enjoy my sweet breakfast. Using Airbnb allowed me a glimpse of how locals live. After spending a week, people in my street started greeting me as if I’d  always been living in the neighbourhood.

Around noon, it is time to go out. Take one of the small and colourful trams that regularly go up and down the hills overlooking the water. Head to a viewpoint, or a miradouro, as the Portuguese call it. Each offers wonderful views: monumental architecture and buildings often decorated with blue, white or green ceramic tiles brought by the Moors in the Middle Ages; panoramic scenery; the city’s port; and the 25 de Abril Bridge, a smaller version of the Golden Gate Bridge in San Fransisco. Grab a drink and have a long break.

Getting hungry yet? I am. Alfama, the oldest district of Lisbon, has many places that serve traditional Portuguese gastronomy as well as international cuisine. I felt right at home, with the Portuguese custom of eating various small plates of food. Petiscos, similar to the Spanish Tapas and my own beloved Lebanese Mezze. And of course: Vinho Verde, the unique made-in-Portugal-only green wine; young, cool, summery, light and low in alcohol.

While walking around the streets of cobblestone in Lisbon, I made regular stops on the long stairs to look at the buildings. In some areas the difference between various constructions was staggering; completely renovated apartments with shiny ceramic tiles on their facades, standing next to almost crumbling houses with broken shutters and no windows. When I asked for the reason, I was told that many often elderly tenants pay extremely low rents, frozen by an old law decades ago. So the owners can’t afford upkeep, buildings are in shambles. It reminded me of Beirut: some policy set in motion at some point because it served some populist politician, or even seemed wise at the time, but nobody bothered to look at the long-term consequences.

The last economic crisis hit the country hard. Although it is recovering very slowly, many elderly have to live off pensions 250 or 300 euros a month, which allows for very little. Youth unemployment remains high, many people beg on the streets, people complain about corruption in various official departments. That’s how locals explained their current situation, a big contrast with the more prosperous Northern Europe. But I am no expert on Portugal, merely an observer and obviously a curious listener to whatever the locals have to tell about their country.

I still loved the vibe in Lisbon. It feels way more leftist and hippie than in Amsterdam: more graffiti, young people never seem to be in a rush, the streets are full with endless kiosks, small casual restaurants and bars – rather than luxurious or sophisticated diners –  prices are affordable. The coast is lined with a sandy beach, the water looks super clean. It is the perfect location to watch the sunset. Grab a glass of cold Sangria and sit on a bench to enjoy the amazing tones of orange, pink and yellow.

All in all, an ideal destination for a long and relaxing stay.

*Ginja is a sweet cherry liqueur that originated in Lisbon. You can drink it in a small chocolate shot and the trick is not to eat the shot in order to have a refill. It’s terribly good.

A quirky language called Dutch

Why on earth would somebody spend countless hours on a language hardly anybody speaks outside this small country – except in other small countries as well? On my way to De Vrije Universiteit where I started following Dutch classes, I repeat phrases and – frankly – sometimes ridiculous words on my bicycle trying not to get hit after a long workday.

In between moving and settling in The Netherlands, I stopped taking lessons but I tried to keep up by going to meet-ups with expats to practice some Dutch together, read magazines, follow the news, listen to the radio and to popular Dutch songs, and watch TV – mostly “De Wereld Draait Door”, a play on words meaning both ‘the world keeps on turning’ and ‘the world is spinning out of control’. My Dutch has improved to the extent that I now confuse it with Spanish, which I learned in my early twenties at university.

Although most people speak English here, and you can certainly spend your entire life not learning the local language, I figured that if I don’t, I will never really get to know the country or feel at home. So I embarked on a long discovery of one of the quirkiest languages I’ve ever studied (I speak three fluently and have taken classes in several others, like German, Spanish and Japanese). Being a linguist and a translator, I couldn’t help but try to find similarities and differences between Dutch and Arabic, my mother tongue. One of the very few things the two languages have in common is: the letter “kh” or “خ” (the hard, guttural ‘g’, as written in Dutch). That’s just about where the resemblance stops. Arabic is more sophisticated, way less direct, very poetic and musical – although this may seem hard to believe when most Arab men and women you see in Homeland are angrily shouting all the time. But really, we can sing too.

If I compare Dutch to French or Spanish, “beautiful” is perhaps not the first (or second) adjective I would use to describe it. With time though, I actually got to love the language, including the sound of it. To my advantage, the Dutch have borrowed many French words as they were once occupied by France – a historical fact that no one likes to talk about. Words like: abonnement, argumenteren, bizar, champignon, formulier, hypotheek, illegaal, paraplu, pauze, plafond, situatie, among others come from French. This is great news for me as it expands my Dutch vocabulary with little to no effort.

Sadly, learning this new language is not just for fun. Since I arrived to The Netherlands a year ago, I have been receiving a letter every couple of months urging me to learn more Dutch by mid 2019 (Three letters so far!). No directions as to where to do it, really, just a letter in Dutch saying I have to learn the language and threatening consequences if I don’t. More on that in another blog post.

When I was little, my father used to tell me that learning multiple languages is like having several personalities. It opens up your horizons and allows you to learn about different cultures. As a Lebanese, I grew up speaking two languages, Arabic and French and was taught English at a later stage in school. Speaking several languages was a natural thing for me (and many other Lebanese) to do.

I find the Dutch language fascinating because it tells you so much about the people. It is so clear, logical and direct, which makes it totally different from Arabic, where words rarely carry a simple straightforward meaning. There are wonderful, tell-it-like-it-is words the Dutch have invented for various touchy subjects that reflect the character of this country most. For example:

– “Coffin” means “Tabout” or “تابوت” in Arabic which comes from the verb “Tab” or “تاب” meaning “to repent”. Quite a deep religious connotation right? In Dutch, “coffin” becomes simply “doodskist” which translates into “death-chest”. You see what I mean;

– “Dakloos” means literally “without a roof” or roofless and has the Arabic equivalent of “Mousharrad” “مشرّد”. The latter carries a deeper meaning which reflects the image of someone who lost his home or his land;

– Ambulance becomes “ziekenauto” or “a car for the sick” in Dutch. While in Arabic it turns into “sayyarat es’aaf” or “سيارة إسعاف” which means literally “a car for relief”;

– Earrings mean “oorbellen” in Dutch which translates into “ear bells” (for humans, not cows);

– Gloves become “handschoenen” or “hand shoes”;

– Pedestrian crossing means “zebrapad” or “zebra path”;

– Toilet seat means “WC bril” in Dutch which implies that the seat looks like one side of a pair of glasses;

– Dictionary is “woordenboek” or “book of words”. In Arabic, the word is “qamous” which refers to a great sea (of words, in this case).

I can go on. And just when I thought I found an equivalent in Lebanese Arabic to “gezellig” – the Dutch elaborate description of coziness, warmth and friends in one word – it turned out the word I found did not capture the entire meaning. I thought of “Moukankan” or “مكنكن” which is a very cute word implying feeling warm and comfortable in a small place, always with a bottle of red wine. Just joking on that last part. In fact, the word gezellig reminds me of “Toqborneh” or “تقبرني” which, in the same way, has no real equivalent in any language other than Arabic. It is said to a loved one and it means you wish to die before them, thus them burying you so you never have to live a day without them. Gezellig hè? I don’t think any word in any other language can beat that.

So there you have it, a language mixing various influences and cutting out any overly tedious attempts at softening or dressing up the meaning of things. Kind of like the Dutch. It can be a breath of fresh air, this bluntness. But sometimes, I long for the promise of something mundane carrying the potential meaning of vast and dreamy; a great sea yet to be discovered. Even if it’s only a book of words.

A Short Getaway

One of the advantages of freedom of movement and open borders is the possibility to book last minute trips and travel around Europe. Or the world, even – but only if you are lucky enough to have a Western passport and thus can get visas on arrival to practically anywhere. As someone who comes from Lebanon, a small country bordered by war-torn Syria on one side and a not so friendly neighbour Israel on the other, I love my newfound luxury to travel freely to various European cities.

The Lebanese passport does not make things simpler. Its current global power rank is at 85, same as North Korea according to the passport index list for 2016. This gives you a pretty good idea on the bureaucratic “torture” Lebanese citizens have to endure to be allowed into almost any other country- unless of course, they hold a second passport from the US or EU, which many do. Being Lebanese means having to apply for a visa (long) in advance, through foreign embassies in Beirut, for almost every destination EU citizens can just hop on a plane to. Only 39 countries, which you can find here, give us a visa on arrival.

Some Lebanese blame it on the Lebanese Minister of Foreign Affairs and Emigrants who, they say, is not doing his job including, but not limited to promoting and maintaining positive diplomatic relations with other countries. Others say it’s because of Hezbollah who, let’s face it, dominates many of the Lebanese government’s decisions and is not appreciated by a considerable number of countries worldwide. But I won’t linger on this. What matters here is that I used my access to those open EU-borders to have a short hop of my own, to pretty Milan and Bologna!

Italy was the first European country I ever visited. I was fourteen when our high-school director organised a two-week trip to Rome, Florence and Venice.  More than fifteen years later I went back to visit other Italian cities. All I had to do this time, was show my Dutch residency and get on the plane. It was probably the smoothest trip I’ve ever had. Although an hour and a half away only, temperatures were considerably higher, making me feel right at home; it was an actual real summer. During the six-day trip, all we did was walk around, visit museums and of course churches, attend musicals, eat and drink. In order to avoid putting on two or three kilos, I highly recommend you do a lot of walking; enjoying the Italian cheese and charcuterie delicacies at the many ristorante, trattoria and osteria comes at a high price.

Between Milan and Bologna, I fell for the latter: the small streets, the pinkish and yellow buildings, people’s generosity and sense of humour. Bologna is a very charming place, away from drunk and loud tourists. Calmer locals, calmer tourists, calmer everything. But most of all, the Italian language. It is simply so beautiful to listen to that you end up speaking English with an Italian accent. I’ll definitely go back to Italy again soon.

Born to Leave

Amsterdam on a (mildly) warm day

I was doing well back home in Beirut. I had what I thought was all I needed: a loving family, wonderful friends, a great job. Everything seemed perfect in my own little circle. But it was a circle that I had created, like many other Lebanese, to shield myself from the dysfunctional mess around me. Finally, I couldn’t keep the outside out anymore. So I tried my luck here in Amsterdam. And what a change it’s been. 

Beirut was my city. It’s chaotic, and full of character. It blends the old with the new, the rich with the poor, the Arab world with the West. Its streets and suburbs are a colourful mess: shiny new sky scrapers mix with traditional two-story houses and pitiful shacks. It is on the Mediterranean, so with the smell of salt a feeling of freedom continually washes over the city. And it’s true: Beirut is open, tolerant, even liberal compared to the rest of the Arab world. At least, in my circle it is. Its character is fuelled by its people, talented, creative, smart, hip, but also deeply disturbed, to be honest.  

I love Beirut like you love a destructive lover, who keeps you hanging on with hints of how it could be, how it should be. Until the moment you realise you have to leave, if only to maintain your health and sanity.  

So here I am, taking a walk on a sunny Amsterdam day along the dozens of waterways and canals, heading toward Oost. I sit on a bench for a long time listening to the sound of the light breeze through the long trees, watching a couple of ducks float on the water, enjoying the summer sun as the tram bells echo in the background. Everything is so peaceful, so clean. I think of when I started learning Dutch in Lebanon and how surprisingly fun the classes were. Then I remember the day I learned my residency was in order, and how ready I felt to go.  

Beirut does not have an easy past. After a 15-year long civil war which left so much destruction on its buildings and in the hearts of its population, its problems now are more mundane: lack of water, power cuts, pot-holed roads, suffocating traffic, and not a single publicly accessible park worth the name. An ongoing trash crisis – the result of incapable, corrupt, money-hungry politicians – has made the streets of Beirut smell like a garbage dump for the past year, with no solution in sight (despite creative and angry protests). And then there are the more than 1.5 million Syrian refugees (on a Lebanese population of 4 million), which is putting extreme pressure on the already weak local infrastructure and public services. Religious and political tensions, staggering economic and social inequality – it’s all widening the gap between the rich and poor.  

It all seems so far away here, as if I’ve driven into a morning fog on a dark forest road and came out on the other side in daylight. Amsterdam feels magical, like a dream, with its incredibly beautiful architecture and lit canals. And the green; I can’t emphasise enough how great it is to be able to access parks for free, just sit there, read, spend time with friends or exercise in the morning in the fresh air. Nothing can beat a bicycle ride – no matter how challenging it may look with all the confused tourists around – through the endless small streets feeling the wind on your face. It’s ultimate freedom.  Everything works. While this may seem like a fact-of-life for those living in a developed country, it makes me realise the collective commitment and effort that have been put into it, to have a well-functioning society. Every detail has been thought of: the alignment of trees on the sides of the roads, bike lanes, parking spots, parks, where to stick posters (RIP, Johan Cruyff) and ads, where to post your mail, how to sort the trash, where people with disabilities can go, children, bus stops and the list goes on and on. I was even able to become a fiscally legal ZZP’er (self-employed person with no personnel) in less than a month. This is a miracle!  

I love Beirut’s generosity, its hospitality, how it embraces you and makes you feel home, welcome. But after years of disappointment, I had to leave; because I want to build a stable life and make a new place home. So here’s my first post on the struggle to achieve that in Amsterdam. There are problems too – the hardness of society here is one. But more on that later. I’ll keep you posted, those of you going through the same process, or Dutch people interested in what it’s like to arrive here, while I wonder about my new life, in this new city. Hopefully, this one will make a better lover.