A quirky language called Dutch

Why on earth would somebody spend countless hours on a language hardly anybody speaks outside this small country – except in other small countries as well? On my way to De Vrije Universiteit where I started following Dutch classes, I repeat phrases and – frankly – sometimes ridiculous words on my bicycle trying not to get hit after a long workday.

In between moving and settling in The Netherlands, I stopped taking lessons but I tried to keep up by going to meet-ups with expats to practice some Dutch together, read magazines, follow the news, listen to the radio and to popular Dutch songs, and watch TV – mostly “De Wereld Draait Door”, a play on words meaning both ‘the world keeps on turning’ and ‘the world is spinning out of control’. My Dutch has improved to the extent that I now confuse it with Spanish, which I learned in my early twenties at university.

Although most people speak English here, and you can certainly spend your entire life not learning the local language, I figured that if I don’t, I will never really get to know the country or feel at home. So I embarked on a long discovery of one of the quirkiest languages I’ve ever studied (I speak three fluently and have taken classes in several others, like German, Spanish and Japanese). Being a linguist and a translator, I couldn’t help but try to find similarities and differences between Dutch and Arabic, my mother tongue. One of the very few things the two languages have in common is: the letter “kh” or “خ” (the hard, guttural ‘g’, as written in Dutch). That’s just about where the resemblance stops. Arabic is more sophisticated, way less direct, very poetic and musical – although this may seem hard to believe when most Arab men and women you see in Homeland are angrily shouting all the time. But really, we can sing too.

If I compare Dutch to French or Spanish, “beautiful” is perhaps not the first (or second) adjective I would use to describe it. With time though, I actually got to love the language, including the sound of it. To my advantage, the Dutch have borrowed many French words as they were once occupied by France – a historical fact that no one likes to talk about. Words like: abonnement, argumenteren, bizar, champignon, formulier, hypotheek, illegaal, paraplu, pauze, plafond, situatie, among others come from French. This is great news for me as it expands my Dutch vocabulary with little to no effort.

Sadly, learning this new language is not just for fun. Since I arrived to The Netherlands a year ago, I have been receiving a letter every couple of months urging me to learn more Dutch by mid 2019 (Three letters so far!). No directions as to where to do it, really, just a letter in Dutch saying I have to learn the language and threatening consequences if I don’t. More on that in another blog post.

When I was little, my father used to tell me that learning multiple languages is like having several personalities. It opens up your horizons and allows you to learn about different cultures. As a Lebanese, I grew up speaking two languages, Arabic and French and was taught English at a later stage in school. Speaking several languages was a natural thing for me (and many other Lebanese) to do.

I find the Dutch language fascinating because it tells you so much about the people. It is so clear, logical and direct, which makes it totally different from Arabic, where words rarely carry a simple straightforward meaning. There are wonderful, tell-it-like-it-is words the Dutch have invented for various touchy subjects that reflect the character of this country most. For example:

– “Coffin” means “Tabout” or “تابوت” in Arabic which comes from the verb “Tab” or “تاب” meaning “to repent”. Quite a deep religious connotation right? In Dutch, “coffin” becomes simply “doodskist” which translates into “death-chest”. You see what I mean;

– “Dakloos” means literally “without a roof” or roofless and has the Arabic equivalent of “Mousharrad” “مشرّد”. The latter carries a deeper meaning which reflects the image of someone who lost his home or his land;

– Ambulance becomes “ziekenauto” or “a car for the sick” in Dutch. While in Arabic it turns into “sayyarat es’aaf” or “سيارة إسعاف” which means literally “a car for relief”;

– Earrings mean “oorbellen” in Dutch which translates into “ear bells” (for humans, not cows);

– Gloves become “handschoenen” or “hand shoes”;

– Pedestrian crossing means “zebrapad” or “zebra path”;

– Toilet seat means “WC bril” in Dutch which implies that the seat looks like one side of a pair of glasses;

– Dictionary is “woordenboek” or “book of words”. In Arabic, the word is “qamous” which refers to a great sea (of words, in this case).

I can go on. And just when I thought I found an equivalent in Lebanese Arabic to “gezellig” – the Dutch elaborate description of coziness, warmth and friends in one word – it turned out the word I found did not capture the entire meaning. I thought of “Moukankan” or “مكنكن” which is a very cute word implying feeling warm and comfortable in a small place, always with a bottle of red wine. Just joking on that last part. In fact, the word gezellig reminds me of “Toqborneh” or “تقبرني” which, in the same way, has no real equivalent in any language other than Arabic. It is said to a loved one and it means you wish to die before them, thus them burying you so you never have to live a day without them. Gezellig hè? I don’t think any word in any other language can beat that.

So there you have it, a language mixing various influences and cutting out any overly tedious attempts at softening or dressing up the meaning of things. Kind of like the Dutch. It can be a breath of fresh air, this bluntness. But sometimes, I long for the promise of something mundane carrying the potential meaning of vast and dreamy; a great sea yet to be discovered. Even if it’s only a book of words.

Mijn first Sinterklaas

Yesterday was this time of the year when the Dutch celebrate Sinterklaas. Obviously, de Goedheiligman has not made his way to Lebanon because I never remember celebrating the arrival of any Sint as a child myself. There was only Christmas for us, with the American Santa Claus. However, ever since I have been around Dutch people, I noticed how excited both adults and children get whenever we talk about the Sinterklaas event. I’d rather avoid getting close to the “Zwarte Pieten” debate, but in all cases, the color of the pieten (the Sint’s helpers) doesn’t seem to matter. He could be red, pink or green and still, people, at least the ones I met, would enjoy celebrations, gifts and sweets just about the same.

We decided to celebrate the weekend before the actual arrival day of the Sint, with a bunch of friends. For my fellow Lebanese who never heard of him, Sinterklaas or Saint Nicholas is an old tradition in The Netherlands. The man was a bishop in the 4th century in the town of Myra in Turkey. It is known that he was very generous and helpful particularly towards the poor and needy. Now, children put their shoes in front of the fire in the hope that Sinterklaas will fill them with a small present or a chocolate goody. I am still not sure though why his last stop before getting here is in Spain. I asked my Dutch language teacher about it but he did not know either. So if any of you know the reason, feel free to write it down in the comments’ section.

Going back to our preparations for the celebration evening, we invited close friends and agreed to exchange small gifts and poems. The main dish for dinner was hutspot, an authentic Dutch winter meal made of potatoes, carrots, onions, sausage and gravy made by my husband while wearing an inappropriate apron. I managed miraculously to bring in a salad as an entrée if only to create a balance between all the carbs and sweets. Wine glasses were clinking, sinterklaasliedjes were playing in the background with Dutch friends singing along. My Lebanese friend and I sticked to dancing. The ambiance was warm, friendly and joyful. Heel Gezellig!

It was time for us to read the poems and open the presents – which we did not hide inside a homemade “surprise”. Some wrote in English, others in Dutch or in both. More wine, more pepernoten, meringues, cupcakes, chocolate, nuts (our personal touch) and the list goes on. We had already started a whatsapp group a couple of weeks earlier for updates on the event (yes that’s how serious it is here). Those who were less experienced were stressing a bit, about how to put together the traditional Sinterklaas poem: a rhyming text that pokes fun at your target while letting a little bit of warm feelings show through. 

With some effort (and support from Google and other websites), I put one together in English – rhyming in Dutch is of yet a bridge too far. Maybe next year :). It goes a little something like this:

I couldn’t though help but notice, the love he has for music.

He had it all: English, French and Arabic”.

“Hmm”, uttered the Sint. “I think I know”.

He reached out for a small thick book hanging on a hook,

It was full of color from cover to cover, meant for Elias to discover.

Despite the cold, the wind, the storm and the rain,

Which Sinterklaas does not experience in Spain.

On December the second, he traveled with Piet,

To visit Elias in The Hague and make his mission complete.

“Enjoy the book”, said the Sint on his way out.

“You have been a great friend this year, about that there is no doubt”.

My Sint got me warm stuff to wear in winter on the bicycle, along with a bit of cynical poetry – this Sint having spent time in the Middle East himself 🙂

Ma’ Salama Sinterklaas

Sint dacht er heel lang over na

En begon dit gedicht toen toch maar met: Marhaba Mona

Eigenlijk had de Sint een persconferentie willen inlassen

Om te zeggen dat hij het kinderfeest nog verder wil aanpassen

Vanaf nu, zei Sint, is mijn naam: Abu Klaas

En wie daar problemen mee heeft: jammer maar helaas

Mijn pieten heten voortaan Mukhabarat

En ook de kinderliedjes ben ik een beetje zat

Voortaan zingen we: Zie ginds komt de shishaboot uit Libanon weer aan

Hij brengt ons Abu Klaas ik zie hem al staan

Ja, Abu Klaas wil het feestje over een hele ander boeg gooien

En voortaan alleen nog maar met falafel strooien

Ach de Sint is die pietendiscussie helemaal moe

Vanaf volgend jaar is de regel: Wie zoet is krijgt hummus en wie stout is…

moet naar Israël toe.